On this date in 1775, a bunch of Americans got pretty annoyed with how the English were running things and ended up starting a big old war that spanned seven years, culminating with England graciously giving the disgruntled Americans their own country. Naturally, this event was blown hugely out of proportion and is now referred to as the Revolutionary War, with Americans claiming they got their “independence” from their incredibly generous English overlords.

How it all started was actually pretty boring – some people fired guns at some other people, and a fairly underwhelming total of eight people were actually killed in the first battle at Lexington – all of them on the American side. Unimpressed with these events, I like to imagine what should have happened, and I present to you that vision right here.

You look at that and tell me that Robo-Washington’s Demonbear Army facing off against King T-Rex’s Missile Tigers is anything other than the most amazing possible thing that could have happened. Also the sun is a cat, for some reason. Yeah, I don’t know what that’s about either.


  1. Personally, I think we would have been much better off in the Commonwealth. But don’t tell anyone else. They have specially trained laser-guided wolverines for people like me…

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